SOT & What A Great Night

Tadah! My beloved Team 26 with Bobby (SOT Dean), albeit many missing! BJ’s pretty hair more visible here.

Woke up early today and hoping there was school to go. *If only I felt this way in Uni! *

The best people are still the best: meeting some SOT folks for coffee tmr noon. Huhoo!! And I haven’t got my starbucks vouchers! =(

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Had a very wonderful evening with G. Thanks to all who gave visible and invisible help!  

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Job search. mm.

Filed under: Moments, Relationship

The Kind of Marriages We Will Have

I need you in my times of strength
and in my weakness;
I need you when you hurt
as much as when I hurt.

There is no longer the choice
as to what we will share.
We will either share all of life
or be fractured persons.

I didn’t marry you out of need
or to be needed
We were not driven by instincts
or emptiness;
We made a choice of love.

But I think something supernatural
happens at the point of marriage commitment
(or maybe it’s actually natural)

A husband comes into existence;
a wife is born.
He is a whole man
before and after,
but a point in time
he becomes a man who also
is a husband;
That is-a man who
need his wife.
She is a whole woman
before and after.
But from now on
she needs him.
She is herself
But now also port of a new unit.

Maybe this is what it means
in saying
“What God hath joined together.”
Could it be He really does something special at “I do”?
Something like His creation
of a mother when
a woman gives birth;
(something so real that
neither can quite survive
again without each other).
Joining together-in marriage-
two self-sufficient beings
into an interdependence so real
That when you hurt I hurt
(there’s nothing I can do about it!)

Your despair is mine
even if you don’t tell
me about it.
But when you do tell,
the sharing is easier for me.
(To know why I hurt, no matter
how frighting the cause,
is easier then living with the theories
that fear suggests.)
And you also can then share
from my strength in
that weakness.

If we are one
then perhaps you don’t always
carry the antibodies
within yourself
to fight every infection.
Some wounds are healed by resources carried
in my part of our unit

When part of a body is endangered
all the rest gears to its defense.
Shouldn’t that be true
in a pair
so committed
they are called
one flesh?

- I Need You by Jerry and Barbara Cook

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Filed under: Relationship

The Anatomy of Friendship

“...we start off trying to get to know everyone better, thread on unknown ground to test each other’s limits and know each other’s Achilles heel. After a while, we get more comfortable, we start fooling around, we start deep and serious conversations about each other’s lives and we start putting that bit more trust in these people. As we get even more comfortable, we start telling people about our lives, about little things like what we had for dinner and bigger things like work, ambitions, dreams and fears. Along the way, we understand more about these other people. At the same time, we understand more about ourselves. Sometimes it’s also easy to overlook this sense of trust and companionship we’ve built up. Sometimes we take one another for granted, sometimes we assume one another should know what we’re thinking even without us telling them, sometimes others assume the same about us. then we drift apart slowly and this cycle starts again with a new group of friends… ” - M’s blog

M made deliberations to pen this down. Must have cost her some time. it’s so true, isn’t it? While she calls it a “vicious cycle,” I think otherwise. According to The Anatomy of Friendship, we can manage about 52 quality friendships in our life time.

Seasons of friendship is a concept few can accept- that friends CAN come and go (of course, it depends on how you define “friends”!). I feel that so long as we give our best and serve the people that God put around us and make them better people in that season, it’s quite enough. When we do that adequately – the love and trust will remain even after a long time.

Time, afterall, is the acid test for faithfulness. It is a friend to those who build relationships on strong foundations. With time comes the storms and challenges, misunderstandings and sometimes resentment. If that friendship cannot withstand it all, the foundation hasn’t been strong in the first place anyway.

A friend is born for adversity. Remember to be grateful for each person you have the privilege to call “friend.” They may not be as near or assessible to you the next season.

Ah yes. Happy New Year!

Filed under: Relationship

On Friends

“The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, or the kindly smile, or the joy of companionship. It is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discover that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him with his friendship. “
Corrie Ten Boom

Thank you all and thank you Hardy, for the friendship we share.

In our pursuit for joy, happiness and self-actualization, go for enriching, committed and deep relationships. Give and seek authencity. =)

Filed under: Relationship

Authenticity

Haven’t really found time to spend with friends and with myself.

Been buried with tons of projects and endless meetings.
It’d be over by the end of tomorrow.

Then comes the exams. Ha.

In the midst of this madness, I realised how important specific planning is.
It’s like doing Ops Order in the army. Ha. (and I shall digress no longer)

My ability to plan my time = my ability to plan my life.

I think I need a lot of work and discipline on this. : /

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Authencity

I was observing the quality of conversations I had with various ones this week.
With my project mates, close friends, school friends, mentors and acquaintences.

There are some whom I share about my life, some of whom I share my life with.
Much as I want to, I realise I’m not and should not attempt to acheive the same level of depth in every friendship I form with someone.

The relationships I want to build must be authentic and enriching. Otherwise, it will a waste of each others’ time.

The concept of authencity is so important.

It determines the quality of our lives and the joy and happiness we can acheive with the people around us. After all, what really matters at the end of day when the last nail is driven into our coffin is whether we made any difference to the people around us through our work and labour of love.

My wordweb defines the word authentic as such:

au·then·tic (ô-thntk)
Adj
1. Conforming to fact and therefore worthy of trust, reliance, or belief
2. Not counterfeit or copied

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Authencity requires a level of openess and vulnerability we allow others to see and know.

Authencity requires time and effort. Authencity is a commitment.

I always find it easy to talk to people or having them share with me their thoughts and burdens when I have a genuine care for them.

I hate it when I’m asked to do something or say something to someone when I don’t have that kind of access to them.

Not because I don’t want to correct them for their own sake, but that it can sometimes backfire.
Simply put, I hate it when people do the same to me especially when they don’t have that kind of access to my life. I have a natural rebellion inside. lol.

I make it point not to do so. What works for me is to do what Atticus say, to walk in other people’s skin. To see their well intention and feel the care and concern beyond the words spoken (sometimes ugly.lol)

I’ve learned during this short time of existence not to do things beyond my faith level and that I can and should make a stand for the values I hold dear.

I love authencity!

“And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” John 8: 2

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*post entry:

I found a lot of “I” in this entry. lol
It’s a constipating post to understand. I was trying to pen something with an uncoordinated mind.

People seek authencity in relationships. If we find that the relationships we and the content of our conversations always scratch just the surface, especially with those we know we need to build relationships with, make it happen.

Change starts with me. Start sharing your life. The principle of sowing and reaping applies to relationships. Start listening to others. And when they’ve talked enough about themselves, they will ask you. When they do… YOU TALK. AND TELL THEM all that you are feeling!

HARLO?

–> S2006 paid us 9 days worth of volunteering allowance. Instead of my 6 days of work. Picked up the cheque yesterday (“your income is taxable and not deductable under CPF”). Just when I needed money for this weekend!

God is always on time.

Thank you for Your providence!

Filed under: Relationship

Jimmy & Mingyan

It was supper @ Geylang when Jimmy shared with me his story with Mingyan.
Revisited the same post minutes earlier.

Sunday was Jim’s surprise birthday celebration. He was truly touched.
Mingyan steered and engineered the entire event. It was amazing..
Four years in the relationship and growing together…

Presenting to you from Jimmy’s Blog:

“… So you, yes you – whether attached or single, male or female, I hope what I am gonna share will give you an insight of how a relationship, particularly a godly one, develops. And in return, I hope you will also leave behind something meaningful to share – My entire blog is always centered around being a constructor and an encourager.
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I chose to stayed out of relationship for 3 years from sec4 till end of JC, telling myself tt when i get attached after that, that person must become my wife. It was in my 2nd yr of “singlehood” that I get to know my gf, Mingyan. We began as friends and became confidant to each other – we saw the best and worst of each other. We remained as best of friends till after I gotten into army tt we got attached.
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Then, ppl around me commented tt “if your gf can stay with you thru’ your army, she can stay with you for life”…some said, “Don’t pin too much hope…just hope for the best, BUT prepare for the WORST.” Well, none of these went into my head, because there only exists one statement in my mind – “My gf must be my wife”.
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Sounded silly uh?…i dun think so. I thought through a great deal before deciding to commit into this relationship, never look back since.
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Throughout my 3 years of “singlehood” prior to that, I saw many ppl going in and out of relationship. As such, I established in my mind certain principles that I am convicted a relationship should have, in order to guide it to stay progressive, and to stay in God.
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So, just before Mingyan and I got attached, we sat down and discussed about our expectation of each other and of the relationship. The following 3 principles guide us through these past 4 years…
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1. Breaking up is NEVER an option – not even words that suggest the idea of it.
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This requires us to consider carefully before we decide to commit to this relationship. If we do, then we are committed to make it work, just like a marriage.
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Do understand that your words will frame your world – words that are negatively phrased, that lead to suggestion of break-up will actually do great damage and eventually destroy the relationship.
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So, do not say hurting words that suggest break-up, not even think about it!
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2. NEVER put each other down – especially in front of others
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This is the core essence of respect.
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Learning to be edifying to so important, becuase love builds. We agreed not to put each other down in the public/ in front of others, not even if one party is really at fault. Whatever issue there is, we should always, always discuss and settle between ourselves, not publicly.
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3. Agreeing to always put God in the CENTER of the relationship
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Just like God’s Word does not come to make us righteous, but as a reminder to us that we are sinners; agreeing to put God in the centre of this relationship will always bring us back to the same and correct focus – God. This principle has helped us by reminding us tt we’ve drifted away from Him, and there is a need to come back to our Source…. “

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Comments? Post it here

Filed under: Relationship